Danger on the Gold Coast

Perhaps you wonder where the girls who are practicing Bitterites have been. It's been a bit hazardous, living life lately, especially out here on the Gold Coast. First, there was the straight line winds storm: Then, during the big July 4th Festivities, the party was interupted by giant man-eating frogs! Actually, a frog killed a bird. Apparently the frog was overly ambitious as it began to choke on the bird. Tyler gave the frog the Heimlich maneuver. I mean, that hasn't happened here before. It's sort of nice that life still has its surprises, though that was just plain weird. Then, it happened again the next day, minus the choking incident. Who knew? I mean, frogs are cute and eat nasty things like flies, not birds, right? Be careful - you don't know where that frog's lips have been.

Gravity Schmavity

Perhaps you, as a semi-regular visitor to the Bitter Train, wonder why there has been so little activity on the blog. Good question. Is it because the writers of this blog are so content in their lives and therefore lack bitterness? Could be. But why would happiness exclude the fun of being bitter on occasion? However, yesterday I made a purchase that may cure me of bitterness forever:

Behold the Zero-gravity Recliner! How do I love Thee...let me count the ways.... 1. Easily available for purchase at the local Big Lots. Seriously, this is something to love because buying anything really great around here is not always easy. 2. A bargain! Dollar for dollar, can any recliner compare? 3. Lightweight - I could pick it up, load it in my car, and bring it in my house without straining any major or minor muscle groups. 4. It folds up, therefore taking up little space.

5. Inside/Outside - when I was done sitting on it outside, I brought it inside and watched television. 6. COMFORTABLE.....I fell asleep in it not once, twice or even three times - four dozings. For the record, I don't ever fall asleep in random furniture. 7. Color Choices - On-line I noticed they come in quite a variety. Fortunately for me, who is easily incapacitated by too many choices, it only came in brown at Big Lots. Brown. It is perfect everywhere. 8. Finally, having one's feet elevated is easily done without laying on the floor and being attacked by the family pet(s). And that's after only a mere twenty-four hours of ownership. I anticipate a happy summer.

Bitter Train Plan to Make America Great

Maybe you haven't noticed, but this is an election year. That means that everyone has an idea about how to fix all the problems that our country has.

But here's one that I bet you haven't considered.

In my administrative law class, I asked my students to research jobs at different government agencies and then to fill out an asignment with what they found out.

One outstanding student responded that the government agency that she'd like to work for is....not the FBI, not the Justice Department. No she wants to work for Glam Fairy as a make up artist.

There it is. The answer we've all been waiting for. Check this out Mitt and Barack....we need a government agency devoted to make up artistry. Talk about America the Beautiful---here it is.

Now, here's the big question. Who would be the head of this agency and what would their title be? Obviously Fairy Godmother would be fitting, but what personage is qualified for this job?

If you're old like me, you might suggest Tammy Faye Baker and I think that's a reasonable suggestion. But, all the candidates are trying to be hip and young so I'd suggest Snooky.

Any other suggestions?

P.S. This scenario again raises the issue "I went to law school for this?"

Don't Be Crabby

How did it happen that we went an entire month without blogging? Are you still with us? Wow, we were seriously MIA.

Somehow, this little purchase went undocumented:

The tag says that it is "genuine faux wood."

It was so worth it.