Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Cabbage Soup Results

September 12th. That's the day we began. That was week one. We took a four day break and then dived right into week two. Let's say both of us are happy with the results with a combined weight loss close to 20 pounds. And seriously, neither of us smell, nor does our house smell like Russia, as some have alleged.

This is the time of the year to do this diet - every yummy vegetable is fresh. And as you see above, a bumper crop of cherry tomatoes made snacking much easier.

Inspiring many, we are now both knowledgeable Cabbage Soup Czars. I mean, it's hip to be a czar these days and we wanted a piece of the Czar action.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Housedresses Take Two

Today dawned with so much promise. We were going in search of housedresses. Ok, we had to go out anyway because tomorrow is Bananas and Skim Milk Day for the cabbage soup diet (yet another exciting, promise-filled day).

We went to K-mart, expecting a decent selection. No go. There was approximately ten dresses, one with sleeves, the rest labeled "dusters." One was a medium. All were in frightful colors, prints or florals. We were disappointed. We didn't even buy our bananas or skim milk there.

Goodwill was our next stop. Nothing. There were scrubs, which may be some sort of transitional leisure wear/uniform in some circles. But, it didn't entirely fill the spirit of the housedress. Nothing at all. We now had Badwill, and no housedresses (and of course no bananas or skim milk here either).

After our stop at the grocery, we returned home with our heads hung low. However, there's still the internet. And that's where we found that lovely number, modeled by Edna.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Housedresses, Dusters, and Caftans

You heard me. Oh year. We're going there.

You know you want one. You just needed a safe place to admit your casual clothing fetish.

Well, we here at the Bitter Train are here to ablige. Come on, Sister, admit it. The idea of all that flowing fabric, sans waistband, makes you breathless.

Where did this sudden interest come from, you ask?
Like all my best ideas, it came to me in the tub.

After a leisurely afternoon soaking in the tub, (see previous posts on Mr. Bubble), the idea of binding my body with a waistband seemed contrary to the relaxation that the tub had offered. Perhaps it's my own fault for soaking for so long in the middle of the day. I didn't want to put on work or play clothes. Yet, it was too soon for pajamas. And frolicking about naked just creates too many awkward moments when you have not just a roommate, but numerous pets. You can see the dilemma and the appeal of the simple housedress. Just toss it on and get on with my day, or at least what was left of it. But no. I do not own any housedresses. Or patio dresses.
But look at this beauty. Can't you just see yourself sipping a fruity umbrella drink (or swilling a beer) while wearing it?

Sue and I swapped stories of housedresses, and when our mothers and/or other neighborhood ladies wore them. Then we wondered if we should go to K-mart and check their inventory. Expeditiously (I just wanted to use that word), Sue went on line to see what could be found.

Clearly, the choices and finer points of fashion wear was vast. Questions remain for me as I am unable to determine the differences between the housedress and housecoat (is it buttons?), caftans and dusters (is it the length? the flutter sleeves?), and just how did the "cobbler" go from shoeing horses in the barn to the kitchen? Why do product descriptions include words such as "ample" and "roomy?" And what is a snapdress? And America's Next Top Model has never featured any contestant actually wearing a "models coat" (although they've worn just about everything but).

Fashion Historians - help! Where did the housedress come from? The affluence of the 50's? More importantly, where did they go? Will they be permanently unseated by robes? Is the term "lounger" a bridge word from housedress to robe?

Further research reveals that one may purchase housedresses from stores that end in "mart" or in questionable catalogs such as Carol Wright.

What is your housedress/housecoat/caftan/duster/cobbler/lounger story? Who wore them when you were growing up? Did you? Do you still have any? Do you have my address?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Why Yes, that is a Double Tomato

They don't call me "Sweet Maters" for nothin'!

Day Five - The Resolve Weakens...

It's true. Today I want to snack. On everything. The dog kibble doesn't even look that bad. It's Beef and Tomatoes Day, which, as you can sense, is not the same as Bananas and Skim Milk Day. We even were daring and substituted turkey for beef, then got totally edgy and had eggs. I had three. But I still cream...oh, help me.
I had some dried cherries and raisins. I cheated, and maybe I won't feel good in the morning, but darn it, it felt GREAT when I was doing it. Wait, am I still talking about food?

As for the Cabbage Soup Diet in general, Sue made an excellent observation. It is best to do this in the Fall (or "Autumn" for you fancy folks), when cabbage, carrots and tomatoes are at their best. And to update an earlier post on "how will my garden grow," it was wild with tomatoes. Although, we're both guilty of heading out to the garden and munching on cherry tomoatoes, somewhat frantically. It's a good thing I didn't plant cabbages because it would have been embarrassing to be seen grazing on those.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

And then the Toilet Broke...

It's Day 4.

Sue came downstairs this morning and announced, possibly deliriously, "It's Banana Day!"

How can you not be excited about that? And more accurately, it's Banana AND Skim milk day. Frankly, we've been looking forward to it.

However, our excitement has been tempered by the downstairs toilet being out of commission. Fortunately, there is still one upstairs, although you have to occassionally jiggle the handle of it. But I digress....

Here's what we've noticed so far:

Yes, weight does come off very quickly and that bloaty feeling is greatly diminshed. We both suspect this is why some have reported an increase in libido. If you don't feel like a bloated cow, you may start feeling a little frisky.

It also may be that if you are doing the cabbage soup diet, you probably are at the age of pre-menopause and your hormones are doing a number on you anyway. It's hard to know where one leaves off and the other begins.

If there has been an increase in phermones that would attract men to our door, it hasn't happened here. Even the painter has stayed away. Maybe that has something to do with those other reports about gasseousness. Honestly, it didn't seem that bad...and wasn't that the dogs anyway?

Our experiences that have not been reported on line by others:

I can't speak for Sue, but I've been on a few good rants the last few days. It all started with a kennel client bringing their "chi-weenie" for me to watch (that would be a chihuahua-dachshund mix). After, I went on a tear about these "boutique" breeds that are generated by puppy mills and where do people get off thinking they are a breed at all and....but I digress again.

Loss of concentration. That has been a big one.

But, it's Banana Day!!!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Cabbage Soup Diet....Day 1.5

Remember a few weeks ago when I said that I'd been saying to guests: "Look at my ass. We've been working out."? Well, those days are long gone and if anyone is checking out the caboose on this bitter train they might be tempted to put a "wide load" sign on it.

Ever the optimists, Lynne and I started the cabbage soup diet yesterday. I've done this diet before, but Lynne is a rookie. Yes, just another item to add to the "Fun things Sue's brought to my life" list. [I see another blog topic...]

Friday we cut up all the stuff for the soup and put it in the crockpot. Wisely, we put the crockpot in Blind Bob's so the aroma of cooking cabbage wouldn't permeate the house (we really are working to reduce the list of reasons why we're still single).

Saturday was day one---all the cabbage soup and fruit you can stand to eat. We survived just fine and this morning we both weighed less than yesterday morning.

Day Two--soup plus veggies and for dinner...baked potato with butter. We went for a long walk this afternoon and talked about how we were both feeling pretty good and weren't sure if we really felt the need to have the potatoes. But, by the time the walk was over, taters sounded pretty good, so off to Skyline I went. Potatoes. Plain. It seemed wrong. But...


And I still have half of mine. I'm keeping a close eye on Lynne. She covets my tater (as do many others).

I did a bit of research on The Cabbage Soup Diet and I found some information that seemed interesting, somewhat disturbing and potentially conflicting.

From Wikipedia: Some claim that after 2+ weeks on the original diet, or especially the Sacred Heart variant, a substantial increase in ones libido is coupled with an overall increase in energy levels. Rumors of an increase in production of pheromones which attract the opposite sex are, as yet, scientifically unsubstantiated. However there is evidence that a diet high in vegetables and low in processed sugars can significantly improve ones libido and general health.

Other sites report that many complain that this diet causes them to be very "gassy".

Which raises the question---can flatulence and a raging libido work together or are they mutually exclusive?

Stay tuned for first hand reports from the field...

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Thanks Pat!

Yeah, we're bitter. And frankly, we could use a good pickle.
And that's where our friend Pat came to the rescue.