Monday, April 18, 2011

What Makes You Itch?

Last week, I was outside enjoying a somewhat pleasant day. Of course, it did not last long. At least there was a little time to walk the dogs around the pond and enjoy the great outdoors. I even hung laundry outside in a great sign that Spring is surely here and I am still a total tightwad.

Later, my right leg was itching terribly with the added effect of some tingling. Just what was going on? Finally, I located the culprit:

A bully wooly bully. Apparently it came out from hibernation and decided my pant leg was a logical place to scale. As a result of me walking around and doing my normal routine, the bully began to bite, rub, sting, drill poison in my veins - whatever it was doing - it hurt!

It's really not a fair deal since I spend a lot of time and concentration trying to avoid running these little creatures over every fall as they scurry across the roads. If I'd known they were mini furry killers I'd be much less careful.

Then, there's the little item in my mailbox today. If it had not been in a cheerful envelope, then surely I would have simply left it in the mailbox forever. I would probably have had to move.

It's so horrifying I don't know what to do. In fact, I don't know how to get it out of my house. I may have to move.

Thanks, Trina, for one of the most frightening birthday gifts I've ever received.

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Other Woman

I knew that eventually the honeymoon would be over and Chris, my usually attentive and doting husband, might cool in his desire to focus his attention on me. I just didn't expect it this soon and I didn't think it would be over...her.

Sure, I can understand the attraction.

I'm lumpy. She's sleek.

I'm old school. She's fashionable and trendy.

I'm dial up. She's wi-fi.

But mostly, I think it's the eager way she responds even to his most gentle touch.

Be on the look out. This vixen could invade your homes as well.

Now I know why they called the company's full of temptation.

Friday, April 8, 2011

When Will the Excitement End?

Some weeks are mundane. Some are eventful. This week has been the latter for the Scott household. What I've learned is, I prefer mundane.

Monday was as normal as they can get on the Gold Coast. However, Tuesday was a day of carting Foster and Tilly over to see Money Guy. Since he and his assistant (Money Guy's All-Knowing Assistant) like dogs, the two of them were invited into the office.

Foster ran into things. Tilly ran around everywhere, and managed to pee a little from all the excitement. Then, they gave her a new squeaky toy.

It's been non-stop squeaking ever since. It must be hidden at night. Sometimes it makes me cry.

Then Wednesday was take-two-cats-to-the-vet day. One of the cats now weighs an impressive even twenty pounds. The other (the ever crafty Dooley) has to have a tooth pulled, so he was prescribed an anti-biotic. I got one dose in him just before I released him from his carrier when we got home. The result was a trail of orange foam as he ran around the house in terror. It was not a good time.

But the weekend promises to be non-stop hilarity. I mean, check this out:

What could it be? Will we get to wear safari hats? Detective monocles?