Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Sea Monkeys are Really Terrific Day (SMART)

Veteran's have their day, as does the Flag. Even Ground Hogs have a day.

But what about the Sea Monkey?

Think about the celebrations we could have that were Sea Monkey-centric! Better yet - the decorations. Frankly, it could be quite a party.

While I didn't personally witness this, Pat has a terrific Sea Monkey story of her own. Our friend Robin (hi Robin!) was in her dorm room chatting. Then she saw a snow globe and said, "I love snow globes!" and began vigorously shaking it. Unfortunately, water began to slosh around. Pat yelled, "No! Stop! Those are my Sea Monkeys!"

Sadly, that was the end of the Sea Monkeys. We never found out if they really wear crowns when they grow up.

What's your Sea Monkey Story? Any suggestions for a menu, ritual, and decorations?

Sea Monkey Stories: A Follow Up
A Friend of a Friend of the blog had a brother who had sea monkeys as a child. one day he poured them in a glass so he could clean the bowl. He forgot to put them back and later, when he was thirsty....well, that's one briney protein shake.

Another Friend said for her sea monkeys were nothing but "a bitter disappointment." When pressed, we discovered that it was that the sea monkeys did not really grow up to wear crowns and live in castles. They also didn't have that cute Dr. Seuss look as promised in the ads.

Another person wrote that while she didn't have sea monkeys, she'd welcome them as a gift. However, she had an ant farm, but the ants bit her and then died. We're not sure if that was the exact order of how things happened. She also speculates were due to her not feeding them. This may also be why they bit her. It's all so complicated.

Monday, January 24, 2011

When I Am Queen---A New Calendar Without January

January sucks.

Seriously. Even the most upbeat can only maintain their enthusiasm for a new year for a few days in the face of cold, dark, windy January. January is like the saltpeter of months.

So, when I am Queen, I will create a new calendar which eliminates January. Initially, I thought we'd just start with February (which is slightly more appealing than January because it contains my birthday and Valentine's Day and it's one month closer to spring) and have an 11 month year. Upon further consideration, I realized that shorter years would mean my birthday would roll around more frequently and since I'm going to be 49 in a couple weeks, that seemed like a bad idea. The years seem to fly by as it is, so shortening them would really add to my confusion.

So, here's my plan. We'll eliminate January all together. Those with January birthdays would get to choose a new day of the year for their birthdays. How fun would that be? Tired of having your birthday parties cancelled due to blizzards? Move your birthday to a nice hot day in July and have a pool party.

What about those extra 31 days? Well, let's give February a few more so that we don't have that stupid 28 day thing going on.

Next, I'd add another week or two to June. Who wouldn't want more June? This also creates more weekends for those June Brides.

I'd also add a couple weeks to October, the most beautiful time of the year. More weekends for leaf looking and crisp fall days for Football.

Finally, I'm tempted to cut out the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas because I find "the holiday season" very stressful. However, I know there are a lot of folks out there who get really turned on by all the Holly Jolly Good Times, so in deference to them, I won't change that. But, I would add an extra few days between Christmas and New Years so that those with time off (like me) would have more time to recover from the aforementioned Holly Jolly Good Times of the holidays.

What do you think? What day would you pick for your birthday? What month would you add more days to?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Garbage Eaters Unite!

Within the first days of arriving at my rental in Florida, my eagle-eyes spotted this in the grass:

Yes - that's a Milky Way Mini, dark.

Today, the owners called to ask if the grass needed to be mowed since we've had a lot of rain. First of all, I totally forgot that still needs to be done since mowing isn't a thought for me til March, maybe. Then, I went out and checked out the Milky Way, which is just as visible today as it was two weeks ago. I emailed the owners back the lawn was fine, because of the Milky Way.

Why is the Milky Way still there, you may ask? Well, that's a good question. Personally, I think it's because at any given moment, I may go out and eat it.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Gettin' Piggy With It

Mark your calendars, load up on the Pepto and lace up your shoes...the countdown is on to the 2011 Harrod Pork Rind Festival.

Based upon my crack research, I've learned that it is always the second weekend in you've just got five months to make your plans.

The Bitter Train will be there in all its snarky glory...and we're bringing friends. KC is trying to figure out if there are any direct flights from LaGuardia to Harrod. Pat is in training for the 5K. Lynne is considering the pork rind eating competition.

I'm working on a slogan for my 5K t-shirt. So far, my favorite is "Pork Rinds: It's no skin off my a**".

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Ode to A Pickle Jar

As Lynne has mentioned in previous posts, I drink a lot of iced tea. I'm supposed to be drinking more water so I'm trying. Usually I drink out of a big plastic cup with a lid and straw...that way I can get maximum beverage consumption without worrying about spilling on my computer.

The other day I was gazing at myself in the mirror and noticed wrinkles in a new place...around my mouth. I have smoker lips! And I don't smoke. The cluprit? Straws!

Now, in addition to the quandry over new wrinkles I had the challenge of finding a suitably large, yet stable beverage container that didn't involve a straw.

And look what I found:

Yep---a pickle jar. Look at it sitting there, stout and sturdy, right next to my computer where I can wrap my hands around it in a mighty grip and chug away. And, instead of recycling, I'll soon have service for 8. Think of the possibilities---little jelly jars for juice, baby food jars (which I don't have) for shots, and big pickle jars for vodka and tonic.


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A Chip-tastic Birthday!

It's here! Pat's birthday. Seems like it comes around every year.

While 2010 was the Year of Cereal, 2011 will be Year of the Chip. As you can tell, the Chinese and their fancy "horse" and "monkey"years got nothin' on Pat. When pressed about if the year was limited to just potato chips, Pat proclaimed (because that's what you do when you are naming a year) that it was ANY chip. Suddenly, the floodgates have opened to include corn, tortilla, and even pickle (looks like she'll be busy).

However, when asked if she would go see the CHIPendale Dancers for her birthday (which will conveniently be in the geographic area), she declared (also what is done when naming a year) that NO, she would NOT go see them.

And why would she? Obviously she's happy with the pickle she's got. What's that saying? "A pickle in hand is worth more than two in a..." Never mind.

Happy Birthday Pat!