Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Sometimes I Just Feel Like Going to the Zoo

The sights, smells and sounds of a zoo are truly stimulating. However, it's not supposed to extend too far to humans. But on a recent visit to the Columbus Zoo, humans far surpassed the featured animals.

Scene One: Wild Geese Exhibit

Three large birds picking at the grass in their enclosure. Around them, feathers everywhere. Was there a fourth bird? "Something bad must have happened here," I said. Trina reasoned they were molting. I like my story better.

Scene Two: The Moose Exhibit

As Trina and I gazed at the peaceful moose, a woman (with whom we'd made no eye contact) turned around and said, "moose burgers are delicious." "Oh, really?" I wondered if perhaps they were giving away samples somewhere and we'd missed them. Would they be giving samples of all the zoo animals? The woman added (still unsolicited), "they are a bit salty." OH, thank goodness my blood pressure will prevent me from having one.

Scene Three: The Entry Gate

Just days before our visit, the zoo's director died unexpectedly. The staff were wearing ribbons and buttons in his memory. "Sorry to hear about your director" became a popular catch phrase. Ok, only with me.

Scene Four: Women's Public Restroom

As I entered a stall, I heard some of the most tender words of love between parent and child from the stall next to me. "Honey, just pinch it off and let's go." Good thing I was near some tissues to dab my tear-filled eyes.

Scene Five: Elephant Exhibit

"Look, Dad, that's a boy!"
This was painfully clear to all of us. And it was understandable when the next sign we saw for the "Pallas Cat" was mispronounced as "Phallus Cat."

Scene Six: The Flamingos
Overheard, "And you think they look tacky when someone sticks them in their front yards."

That seemed a little harsh.

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