Monday, January 24, 2011

When I Am Queen---A New Calendar Without January

January sucks.

Seriously. Even the most upbeat can only maintain their enthusiasm for a new year for a few days in the face of cold, dark, windy January. January is like the saltpeter of months.

So, when I am Queen, I will create a new calendar which eliminates January. Initially, I thought we'd just start with February (which is slightly more appealing than January because it contains my birthday and Valentine's Day and it's one month closer to spring) and have an 11 month year. Upon further consideration, I realized that shorter years would mean my birthday would roll around more frequently and since I'm going to be 49 in a couple weeks, that seemed like a bad idea. The years seem to fly by as it is, so shortening them would really add to my confusion.

So, here's my plan. We'll eliminate January all together. Those with January birthdays would get to choose a new day of the year for their birthdays. How fun would that be? Tired of having your birthday parties cancelled due to blizzards? Move your birthday to a nice hot day in July and have a pool party.

What about those extra 31 days? Well, let's give February a few more so that we don't have that stupid 28 day thing going on.

Next, I'd add another week or two to June. Who wouldn't want more June? This also creates more weekends for those June Brides.

I'd also add a couple weeks to October, the most beautiful time of the year. More weekends for leaf looking and crisp fall days for Football.

Finally, I'm tempted to cut out the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas because I find "the holiday season" very stressful. However, I know there are a lot of folks out there who get really turned on by all the Holly Jolly Good Times, so in deference to them, I won't change that. But, I would add an extra few days between Christmas and New Years so that those with time off (like me) would have more time to recover from the aforementioned Holly Jolly Good Times of the holidays.

What do you think? What day would you pick for your birthday? What month would you add more days to?

1 comment:

  1. When you invent the weather control machine we can talk. Until then you leave Elvis's bithday alone!